Grooms: Tips to Survive the Big Day

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There’s an endless stream of advice out there for brides-to-be — from insights into gown trends to leads on finding the best photographer. But grooms, who are more involved than ever these days in the wedding planning process, may have their own set of worries. Being prepared can keep the pressure of the big day at bay, say experts.

“Your wedding day involves hundreds of moving parts. But putting things in perspective and leaning on close friends, family and hired professionals can help you stay calm and happy,” says author Eric San Juan, whose new book, “Stuff Every Groom Should Know,” offers all the skills needed to get from “yes” to “I do.”

Whether you’ve been a best man three times in the past or you’re new to the wedding game entirely, these tips from San Juan can help you survive your own big day.

• Be a well-groomed groom: Go beyond your normal grooming routine. This is a once-in-a-lifetime occasion and you should look the part. Consider a manicure, ensure your suit or tux is tailored to fit you perfectly. Get a haircut, trim your nose hair. Looking impeccable on your wedding day is crucial.

• Melt cold feet: Even the most laid back guy can turn into a wreck once the reality of the big day settles in. Calm your nerves by talking to your best man, having a drink — as in just one drink, and projecting confidence.

• Essentials for your pocket: Carrying these essentials with you can help you get through the day-of emergencies: aspirin, your phone, numbers essential for the wedding (such as vendors, drivers and caterers), cash, a stain remover pen, camera, breath mints, handkerchief, lip balm, and of course, the ring.

• Master the meet and greet:  You can’t avoid small talk on your wedding day. Consider a greeting line so you can get all your hi-and-thank-yous over in one fell swoop. If your better half is the charming one, let her take the lead. Circulate early. The cocktail hour is the perfect time to do a quick circuit of the room. Remember, you don’t need to dwell in any one conversation. You have a built-in excuse to exit a conversation early — “I should really make my way around the room,” — is always a legitimate exit line.

• Savor the wedding night: Avoid the after party. Allow yourselves to bask in your first hours alone together. You’ll never have this night with her again.

To take an active role in making your wedding day possible, you can learn more about San Juan’s new book at

Still feeling nervous? “In the United States alone, over 2.5 million guys every year manage to plan and execute one of these celebrations,” says San Juan. “Remember, you really are not alone.”


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