Coming Clean: Lindsey Davis’ Story

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When asked to describe who she is, Lufkin native Lindsey Davis said she is a 30-year-old woman, single mother, and a person in long-term recovery.

“I want to get out there and put a face to the name of a recovering addict. I want to show the world that we’re having fun, and we’re sober,” she said. “We need to get the attention of these people to save their lives. We’re not going to save 100 people at a time; it’s going to be one out of 100, but that’s one less person dying a day.”

[pullquote]“We need to get the attention of these people to save their lives. We’re not going to save 100 people at a time; it’s going to be one out of 100, but that’s one less person dying a day.”[/pullquote]

Ten years ago Davis was one of those people that needed to be saved. She drank in high school, but it wasn’t until college she dived into hard drug use, such as meth and ecstasy. She first partied on the weekends, which then turned into every day usage. She then dropped out of college because drinking and drug use became her ritual.

“My thinking process was, ‘I have no kids, I’m not married, I’m not hurting anyone besides myself at this point. So, I’m just going to get as messed-up as possible, and I’m going to party until later on down the road I have to stop. Somebody will have to make me stop,’” Davis recalled. “It really isn’t a thinking process; maybe if I had used my head a little more I wouldn’t have gotten so off track that I had. It was pretty rough.”

Six months turned into a year, a year turned into four years, and four years turned into seven years, “then you’re in the hospital for six weeks because they don’t know what’s wrong with you,” Davis said.

“I didn’t want to die,” she continued. “I didn’t want to overdose and die with nothing to my name and no legacy to leave behind except that I was a drug addict.”

[pullquote]“I didn’t want to overdose and die with nothing to my name and no legacy to leave behind except that I was a drug addict.”[/pullquote]

That was a turning point for Davis, which was then followed by a pregnancy with a little girl who soon would be named Madison.

“That alters your perspective because it’s no longer just my life,” Davis said. “I now have somebody who solely depends on me to thrive. So, it helps you get your priorities straight.”

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A photo of Lindsey Davis.

Five years ago Davis successfully became clean for the first time, but then relapsed a couple of years later after losing perspective in 2013.

“I decided, ‘I can just drink a little bit and smoke a little bit of weed. It’s not going to be a big deal.’ And that snowballed. Before I realized it I was back doing meth. My dad called the cops on me, because he knew if I didn’t go back to jail I was going to end up dead,” she said. “ I ended up going to jail, ended up in drug court, and I’ve been sober ever since. It’s been almost two years now.”

Instead of drugs and alcohol, Davis said she now focuses her attention on other habits such as gardening, traveling to new places with her three-year-old daughter, and working as a waitress. She makes sure she paces herself on a daily basis because being in long-term recovering “is something we will do, live with, and fight for the rest of our lives.”

“If I don’t wake up every morning and thank God every day that I have another day clean and sober under my belt, and if I don’t wake up every morning and remind myself but for the grace of God there go I, then I’m going to fall flat on my face again,” she said. “Recovery and working a program of recovery isn’t something you do until you have so much time clean, it’s something you do for the rest of your life. …Reminding myself that I could fall so quick and come back from where I came from is reality.”

[pullquote]“Recovery and working a program of recovery isn’t something you do until you have so much time clean, it’s something you do for the rest of your life. …Reminding myself that I could fall so quick and come back from where I came from is reality.”[/pullquote]

For those struggling to stay clean, Davis said to contact counselors at Alcohol and Drug Abuse Council of Deep East Texas. They have counselors who are able to address the situation and are also able to connect community members to local organizations, like AA and Narcotics Anonymous. She also noted to become friends with those you meet at those meetings.

“You have to reach out to these people for help to cope with stress or process the situation. When you’re not trying to use, you need to have as many people in your corner as you can,” she said. “Go to meetings, make friends, plan things to do that don’t revolve around meetings – go bowling, go for a walk, take your kids to a park, fill that time.”

Davis also advised others to “not give up.”

“So many people think they try to get sober one time and then they fall on their face,” she said. “I fell on my face two years before I actually started to get some clean time under my belt. When I got clean in 2011, it was not my first time at trying that. It was my first successful stint of time; it was definitely not my first.”

As Davis looks to the future, she aims to finish college, continue working with recovery programs, and enjoy time with her young daughter. Saturday mornings are now filled with kickball games as her daughter recently joined a local team. She said she is grateful she is sober because “if I was messed up I wouldn’t be able to enjoy any of this…that’s the kind of stuff that keeps me going.”

[pullquote]“I’m not going to leave her big fancy things, lots of money in a bank account, but I want to leave her the important stuff – a good moral foundation and a good honest upbringing. I want my kid to have all of that; and for my kid to have all of it I have to have all of it, and I can’t have all of that using drugs.”[/pullquote]

“I want my daughter to know that I’m not perfect, but I try. I try my hardest to give her everything she wants, everything she needs. I want her to know mama is a good person, that mom treats people right, mama has integrity, and mama doesn’t lie. Mama’s nice, fun, caring, and sweet,” Davis said. “I’m not going to leave her big fancy things, lots of money in a bank account, but I want to leave her the important stuff – a good moral foundation and a good honest upbringing. I want my kid to have all of that; and for my kid to have all of it I have to have all of it, and I can’t have all of that using drugs.”

Megan Whitworth
Megan Whitworth is the former creative director of Texas Forest Country Living. Growing up in East Texas, Megan discovered her love of writing at the age of 11, writing song lyrics and poetry, which turned into essays and articles for publications around East Texas. She later added photography into the mix capturing Friday night football games, the latest fashion looks, and portraits of people around the nation. Megan enjoys karaoke, blogging, reading, and road trips. She resides in Lufkin with her husband, Ryan, and two cats, Felix and Lucy.

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